Good Deed: A father indeed

I recently reached out to one of my fathers.

I know that sounds confusing, but in the African tribal system, having multiple “fathers” and “mothers” really means that more than one adult took responsibility for you while growing up, and not just your immediate parents. We have a proverb that says “It takes a village”, which means that the whole society raises each child.

One of the fathers that stood in for me while my biological dad was not available just retired, and his birthday was a few days ago. Let’s call him Daddy A. Back then, Daddy A would drop by unexpectedly, and give us gifts. He would call from time to time, to check on us, and sometimes would insist we kids come over to spend Christmas with his family. When I need a job for my second industrial training program in the university, he came through for me, in the blink of an eye. He would listen to my brother rant, or me lamenting about the issues I had at school, and quietly give advice. I can remember him being there at the precious moments in my life, as a teenager and a young adult.

So, we sang for him on his birthday, and promised to send a virtual cake. When he asked for the real thing, I promised to send it.

He was so surprised I actually did. I wish I could do more. His thoughtfulness over the years helped fill the void I needed a father to fill as I grew into a young woman.

Moral of the story: try to the all the good you can, when you can, while you still can. Every act of kindness leaves unforgettable impressions out there, especially if the recipients are children.

Another Voice is born

Ruti Olajugbagbe
Image credit:

Another Voice is born - For the second year in a row, a Nigerian has won The Voice UK.
The winner of The Voice UK 2018 is 18 year old Ruti Olajugbagbe. The chubby beauty has such a pure voice, and an open personality, I would have screamed murder if she did not win.

Its not like I follow these stuff religiously, but I stumbled on her voice on Instagram and fell in love. Her voice is like a cross between Adele, Enya, Beyonce and Fergie. Its so fresh and new, I could listen to her all day every day.

What I love most about her is that she has her father's love and obvious support. She's grounded in family. Its an added bonus that her father is Nigerian, and from my part of the country, Yoruba too.

Many Yoruba fathers (mine included) do not have good track records for this generation. This man doesn't look all classy and fly in any of the clips I have seen of him cheering his daughter on, but you can see the joy and love and pride in his face, in his enthusiasm, in his eyes. This one did not force his child to read medicine or law and practically leave her to fend for herself if she did not follow his dictates. This one let the child shine through. Ruti appears so calm in all I have seen. I am proud of her, and not just because she's half Nigerian.

Here are the lyrics to her debut song, Dreams. It kind of describes where I am right now - hit me at the right spot, and with that voice (hear it here), I can only smile and get tearful every time:

Oh my life is changing everyday
In every possible way
And oh my dreams
It's never quite as it seems
Never quite as it seems

I know I felt like this before
But now I'm feeling it even more
Because it came from you
And then I open up and see
The person falling here is me
A different way to be

I want more, impossible to ignore
Impossible to ignore
And they'll come true
Impossible not to do
Impossible not to do

And now I tell you openly
You have my heart so don't hurt me

You're what I couldn't find
A totally amazing mind
So understanding and so kind
You're everything to me

Oh my life is changing everyday
In every possible way
And oh my dreams
It's never quite as it seems
'Cause you're a dream to me
Dream to me