I gunned for the very first available seat at the back. I could barely put pressure on the hip even while sitting. I wondered what I had done to cause it to happen. Was it my diet? For two weeks I have stayed away from rice, white bread, and yam. Considering that that was the staple in my household, you can understand that it was with supreme effort that I was sticking to that regime. I am loving the effects already as my clothes are really loose around my body, but I am lacking carbohydrates - it would have been total if not for the spaghetti I consume regularly. A chat with my chief bridesmaid calmed me down - if it was from my food then its not the diet, because I am staying away from carbohydrates not calcium.
Was it my state of mind? I was not really paying attention to a lot around me. My processor was doing a lot of computing - on one hand I was calculating how much the total aso ebi I was to church for friends carrying cost, so that I would sound brilliant when I was asked by the paying parties. On the other hand I was trying to guess if I would make it in time to church before the closing prayer. On another side I was wondering if I would be able to fulfill my promise of visiting a friend's mother and on the other hand I was wondering how I would finish the job laid out and waiting for me on my bed at home.
Needless to say, my mind was all over the place, but that did not explain the sudden pain in my right hip. I was listening to the sermon - yes I actually met the sermon as it was about to begin when a thought hit me out of the blue.
I will not let go until you bless me.
That was how Jacob/Israel got his shifted hip.
He did not let go until God blessed him.
He held on tight, and wrestled with all his might.
And he was all the better for it.
All he lost in the bargain was a well balanced hip.
He got all he could imagine and more from that encounter.
The pastor's bellow [yes it sounded like a bellow], brought me back into the church hall. It was time to tell God what we wanted before the year runs out, he declared. It was time to claim all those pending blessings left over from the previous months, he announced.
I was up on my feet with the crowd. I strayed from the normal prayers for the past eight months: asking for another car, a successful wedding ceremony, my father's miraculous presence at the wedding. Instead, I requested for one thing.
LORD BLESS ME.
I WILL NOT LET GO UNTIL YOU BLESS ME, LORD.
Because in the end, His plans for us are good and not evil, to bring us to an expected end. He loves us and only wants the best for us. I would rather ask for His blessings which covers all I need, than sell myself short and ask for specific things from Him.
HE blessed me that day, and even though I was limping till evening, I did it with a smile on my face - I had wrestled with Him and told Him my demands, in prayer -
I WILL NOT LET GO UNTIL YOU BLESS ME.