Nigeria’s Bank crisis

Since friday I decided not to comment on what was going on in the banking industry here in Nigeria, partly because I was three busy, and partly because I really do not 'vent' about politics. Yes, I vent about the upcoming wedding, the office, and other things but not really about politics. But this one, I have to vent.
I read a post on 234Next about the banks crisis and the moves that CBN has made to try to change things, and it was alright. The information was shocking but still Nigerian. Then I read the comments.
I encourage everyone to click the link above and read the comments thoroughly. It appears that there are some Nigerians who don't realize that every decision-making office in Nigeria is rapidly being filled with underqualified [or in some cases, unqualified] Katsina and Kaduna state people. I started with 'it appears' cos I do not want to believe it is true. I encourage everyone to read through THISDAY newspaper, yesterday's edition.
Meanwhile this was my response to the writeup:
BANJI AHMED and all those condemning AKEEM KOLA ADEBAYO, I think you missed his point. When he was talking about tribal activity he was not talking about the banks issue alone. Take a good look at the recent activities in FERMA, PHCN, CBN and other key decision-making posts in the country - you will see that the top crop is being replaced by unqualified, or lower level underqualified katsina and kaduna men. Just look well. One retired northerner even wrote a signed statement about it - it was in yesterday's papers. I personally know that the FERMA head was sacked without preamble. That is what he is refering to, not the bank issues alone!

While CBN has the authority to caution erring banks, I do not see how they have the veto power to 'sack' bank MDs and chairmen, especially banks created by private hands. And I also agree with the fact that people's assets should not be seized to pay the debts incured from failing businesses, only the collateral.

While the US has given us till 2013 before we implode, I for one pray that the tension wont give way before then. Since friday one statement I heard during Abacha's rule has been echoing in my head = 'The northerners are born to rule. The others are born to serve them.'

Let's all start praying for Nigeria o!

All the Married Ladies

I have a question for the 'experienced' Naija wives out there...How do you cope with decision making in the home? I am engaged to a good quiet guy and he's nice and reasonable most times but guess what? He's from Ekiti state. That is the beginning of it all, cos we all know they are extremely stubborn people. He can be so determined over some issues at times it makes me so exasperated that I am breathless.

Now the wedding is pending and as usual the little arguements and 'issues' over wedding preps is expected, but it still makes me raise an eyebrow, cos even though I love this guy, it is a serious issue for me when he wont see reason.

I am not always right but sometimes I am sure but he wont listen. Then when I am proved right he still wont say a word. Its funny, really because I have been practicing 'agree to disagree' but its wearing me down.
Tis especially frustrating because I am used to making my own decisions and all that independence.
Now he's all luvey-duvey but am not even blinking. Is this normal?

Then the role of motherhood? Does it fit easily? Do you just become a mother, just like that? Cos I cannot begin to comprehend how my body will change over nine months and there's the childbirth part. I hear stories of how 'the lady had several tears and she had to be stitched inside and outside [shudder]' or of how 'the labor took up to 5 hours and had to be induced in the first place'. Tis making me shake. Then having a kid now without proper..er...[financial] preparation is a major issue. My cousin told me that a pack of pampers, the big size that lasts an average of 2 months, costs 54, 000 naira [yes, fifty-four thousand naira]. That alone is making me try to pinch every cost wherever I can.


Then I ask Vicky, when are we goin to start have the babies? And he replies, 'immediately of course. Why wait?'
What about my career? I am already feeling down that I have to leave the posh job I'm at in Lagos to go to the unknown in Abuja. The frustrating part is everyone keeps advising me to get a Ministry job because that way, I can have the time to 'rear my children properly'. I did not intend to have a career in the ministry where all they do is open and close file cabinets for God's sakes! I have climbed so far in so little time - as the head of technical department in the mobile IT firm I work, it has been hard work getting there. Now I am supposed to go and work in a Ministry so I can have time for my children? What about the bankers in Abuja, don't they have time for their children?
I have serious issues running through my mind - Kafo has heard some and pacified me a bit, but some things are nagging. My mum is so excited about her only daughter's wedding and is always put out that I am not concerned about the engagement lace color combo, or the exotic aso oke combo she is thinking of combining. I am just not into the whole drama. Left to me I would just pay a planner and smile for the camera. In fact, left to me we would just go to the registry and be done in an hour. But my mum has only one daughter, and his mum wants to have a ball cos she especially loves him, never mind that they have had two weddings this year already - his sister got married in March, his brother, two weeks later in April.
The funniest part is when I see him, all my fears melt away. But I would like to know if it is normal.
My mum's over three decades older than me so to sacrifice all for a man was the norm then.
All the married ladies pls help me out....

All the Married Ladies

I have a question for the 'experienced' Naija wives out there...How do you cope with decision making in the home? I am engaged to a good quiet guy and he's nice and reasonable most times but guess what? He's from Ekiti state. That is the beginning of it all, cos we all know they are extremely stubborn people. He can be so determined over some issues at times it makes me so exasperated that I am breathless.

Now the wedding is pending and as usual the little arguements and 'issues' over wedding preps is expected, but it still makes me raise an eyebrow, cos even though I love this guy, it is a serious issue for me when he wont see reason.

I am not always right but sometimes I am sure but he wont listen. Then when I am proved right he still wont say a word. Its funny, really because I have been practicing 'agree to disagree' but its wearing me down.
Tis especially frustrating because I am used to making my own decisions and all that independence.
Now he's all luvey-duvey but am not even blinking. Is this normal?

Then the role of motherhood? Does it fit easily? Do you just become a mother, just like that? Cos I cannot begin to comprehend how my body will change over nine months and there's the childbirth part. I hear stories of how 'the lady had several tears and she had to be stitched inside and outside [shudder]' or of how 'the labor took up to 5 hours and had to be induced in the first place'. Tis making me shake. Then having a kid now without proper..er...[financial] preparation is a major issue. My cousin told me that a pack of pampers, the big size that lasts an average of 2 months, costs 54, 000 naira [yes, fifty-four thousand naira]. That alone is making me try to pinch every cost wherever I can.


Then I ask Vicky, when are we goin to start have the babies? And he replies, 'immediately of course. Why wait?'
What about my career? I am already feeling down that I have to leave the posh job I'm at in Lagos to go to the unknown in Abuja. The frustrating part is everyone keeps advising me to get a Ministry job because that way, I can have the time to 'rear my children properly'. I did not intend to have a career in the ministry where all they do is open and close file cabinets for God's sakes! I have climbed so far in so little time - as the head of technical department in the mobile IT firm I work, it has been hard work getting there. Now I am supposed to go and work in a Ministry so I can have time for my children? What about the bankers in Abuja, don't they have time for their children?
I have serious issues running through my mind - Kafo has heard some and pacified me a bit, but some things are nagging. My mum is so excited about her only daughter's wedding and is always put out that I am not concerned about the engagement lace color combo, or the exotic aso oke combo she is thinking of combining. I am just not into the whole drama. Left to me I would just pay a planner and smile for the camera. In fact, left to me we would just go to the registry and be done in an hour. But my mum has only one daughter, and his mum wants to have a ball cos she especially loves him, never mind that they have had two weddings this year already - his sister got married in March, his brother, two weeks later in April.
The funniest part is when I see him, all my fears melt away. But I would like to know if it is normal.
My mum's over three decades older than me so to sacrifice all for a man was the norm then.
All the married ladies pls help me out....

Paris said it all….

It all seemed so unreal - someone even twitted that he expected Michael to jump out of the casket and tell us it was a lie and make us roll our eyes and say, 'Oh pleez! Stop your theateritics for Pete's sake!'

But it was not to be.

I tried to watch the Michael Jackson Memorial, but I live in Nigeria, where the only TV station to show it live decided that the nine o clock news was more important than watching the service - they cut into the live feed with their news. Nigeria has not changed and we get six o clock news so why didn't they just leave it on for Pete's sake? Its not like they interrupt football anyway.

Even the internet wasnt cooperating - guess it was my low 115Kbps bandwidth that wouldn't help. So this morning as I opened my yahoomail, I saw AP news about it and clicked. This is what I found. And It finally sunk in....


By SANDY COHEN, AP Entertainment Writer – Tue Jul 7, 9:35 pm ET
LOS ANGELES –
For all the hasty preparations, hand-wringing over security, breathless media competition to scoop details and soul-wrenching performances, the essence of Michael Jackson's memorial service came down to 20 poignant, powerful seconds: the moment when 11-year-old Paris-Michael Jackson inched up to the microphone and, in a statement no one saw coming, referred to the late pop superstar as "Daddy."
It was a remarkably humanizing moment. Then again, it was remarkable just to see Jackson's three children in public to begin with.

A fiercely protective father, Jackson rarely brought his brood out into public, covering their faces in veils and party masks to protect their identity when he did.
Now here they were, unveiled, before an audience of thousands at Staples Center and millions more around the globe. Starting out seated in the front row, the three youngest Jacksons eventually joined the rest family onstage as the two-hour service wound to a close.
Dressed in the same dark suits and yellow ties as the rest of the Jackson men, 12-year-old Michael Joseph Jr., known as Prince Michael, chewed gum and toted the memorial service program; 7-year-old Prince Michael II, known as Blanket, held his program and clutched a Michael Jackson doll.

Paris, wearing a black dress with white trim, turned a small patent-leather purse over in her hands as other family members spoke. And then a dramatic hush fell over the crowd as family members whispered that the little girl, whose lifetime of public exposure amounted to a small handful of paparazzi photographs, Paris-Michael wanted to say something.

She furtively emerged from the tight circle of family members, who rushed to lower the microphone to her level. And with her uncle Randy on one side and aunt Janet on the other, Jackson's little girl stood center stage.

"I just wanted to say," Paris began weakly.
"Speak up, sweetheart, speak up," Janet encouraged, sweeping the girl's long hair back. "And get close."
Paris put one hand behind her neck, another on the microphone, and began again.
"Ever since I was born, Daddy has been the best father you could ever imagine," she said, her tiny voice cracking.
Rebbie and Marlon Jackson moved in closer to comfort their niece. She shut her eyes tight.

Then she wrapped her hands — little fingernails painted red — around the microphone and fought back tears as she continued: "And I just wanted to say I love him — so much."
She collapsed in tears into her aunt's arms.
"It's OK, baby. It's OK," Janet Jackson said as she held Paris close. Prince joined in on the hug.

And all at once, Jackson wasn't the larger-than-life King of Pop, or Wacko Jacko the tabloid freak. He was a doting father who had left three adoring young children behind.

He was "Daddy."

Nicely said. Goodbye MJ.
I am still crying...

Paris said it all….

It all seemed so unreal - someone even twitted that he expected Michael to jump out of the casket and tell us it was a lie and make us roll our eyes and say, 'Oh pleez! Stop your theateritics for Pete's sake!'

But it was not to be.

I tried to watch the Michael Jackson Memorial, but I live in Nigeria, where the only TV station to show it live decided that the nine o clock news was more important than watching the service - they cut into the live feed with their news. Nigeria has not changed and we get six o clock news so why didn't they just leave it on for Pete's sake? Its not like they interrupt football anyway.

Even the internet wasnt cooperating - guess it was my low 115Kbps bandwidth that wouldn't help. So this morning as I opened my yahoomail, I saw AP news about it and clicked. This is what I found. And It finally sunk in....


By SANDY COHEN, AP Entertainment Writer – Tue Jul 7, 9:35 pm ET
LOS ANGELES –
For all the hasty preparations, hand-wringing over security, breathless media competition to scoop details and soul-wrenching performances, the essence of Michael Jackson's memorial service came down to 20 poignant, powerful seconds: the moment when 11-year-old Paris-Michael Jackson inched up to the microphone and, in a statement no one saw coming, referred to the late pop superstar as "Daddy."
It was a remarkably humanizing moment. Then again, it was remarkable just to see Jackson's three children in public to begin with.

A fiercely protective father, Jackson rarely brought his brood out into public, covering their faces in veils and party masks to protect their identity when he did.
Now here they were, unveiled, before an audience of thousands at Staples Center and millions more around the globe. Starting out seated in the front row, the three youngest Jacksons eventually joined the rest family onstage as the two-hour service wound to a close.
Dressed in the same dark suits and yellow ties as the rest of the Jackson men, 12-year-old Michael Joseph Jr., known as Prince Michael, chewed gum and toted the memorial service program; 7-year-old Prince Michael II, known as Blanket, held his program and clutched a Michael Jackson doll.

Paris, wearing a black dress with white trim, turned a small patent-leather purse over in her hands as other family members spoke. And then a dramatic hush fell over the crowd as family members whispered that the little girl, whose lifetime of public exposure amounted to a small handful of paparazzi photographs, Paris-Michael wanted to say something.

She furtively emerged from the tight circle of family members, who rushed to lower the microphone to her level. And with her uncle Randy on one side and aunt Janet on the other, Jackson's little girl stood center stage.

"I just wanted to say," Paris began weakly.
"Speak up, sweetheart, speak up," Janet encouraged, sweeping the girl's long hair back. "And get close."
Paris put one hand behind her neck, another on the microphone, and began again.
"Ever since I was born, Daddy has been the best father you could ever imagine," she said, her tiny voice cracking.
Rebbie and Marlon Jackson moved in closer to comfort their niece. She shut her eyes tight.

Then she wrapped her hands — little fingernails painted red — around the microphone and fought back tears as she continued: "And I just wanted to say I love him — so much."
She collapsed in tears into her aunt's arms.
"It's OK, baby. It's OK," Janet Jackson said as she held Paris close. Prince joined in on the hug.

And all at once, Jackson wasn't the larger-than-life King of Pop, or Wacko Jacko the tabloid freak. He was a doting father who had left three adoring young children behind.

He was "Daddy."

Nicely said. Goodbye MJ.
I am still crying...

Do you have scars like that too?

Life is so funny. And so painful. I used to think of myself as an easy-to-heal soul, you know, the type that forgives easily, and forgets.
I still heal easily - on the surface that is. My skin heals quick and I have no scars, no matter how severe. But I am wrong in my assumption.
My heart has scars that wont dissappear. It is odd that the two scars that are prominent were brought on by similar circumstances, and by friends. The first was from a bossom friend who I loved deeply. I really felt for this babe. Don't get me wrong - I was not attracted to her, I just saw her as the sister I never had. I went out of my way to please her and help her. It wasn't that she was ill, or disabled or anything. In fact, she was and is a beauty - long legs, pretty smile, lovely figure. Around her, short, pudgy me was not self-conscious however. I felt at home with her. It didnt even matter that we were of different religions. All that mattered was her happiness. Our friendship stood the test of time and other people's jealousy, but it was destined to crack one day, and by something so flimsy, I still cannot believe that she actually believed I could say such a thing.
Well, it ended. I was bitter, sad, hurt and angry. Even when the truth came to light, I kept away. I had wrapped myself in a cocoon to heal.
Its been years, but even now, if I go visiting, her family still treat me like their own.
But everytime I read something about her on Facebook, or see something she gave me in my room (I refused to throw them away or hide them), I feel a pang in my heart. Why did it have to end that way? Maybe she didn't love me as much as I loved her? So many questions will remain unanswered.
The scar still pulses even now.
Then the second one was woken up tonight. I got through a shaky year three in the university with help from an angel. I found him on the internet - he's a math whiz, knows more than 14 programming languages and was alive during world war 2. He's a veteran, and has survived so many things. I admired him, and looked forward to hearing from him everytime. He's also a crazy man - one time he decided he was relocating to another state, but rather than fly he chose to go by road. That sounds alright until you read this - he reconstructed a bicycle and attached a trail of six black containers to the back with three wheels. He traveled for almost a month, slept on the road or in parks, and subsisted on little or no food. I had to plead with him to notify at least one member of his family (yes he has grand kids but is estranged from the family because he chose to live on the streets) before starting out, so in case something 'happens', they would know.
All was rosy until I made a mistake. A classmate of mine needed help for his project and his topic was something I was sure that my 'Grandad' (yeah that is what I called him then), could handle, so I introduced the 'mate, and told Grandad to please help.
That was the last I heard from Grandad.
By that time, he'd gotten an apartment, gotten a job, had a girlfriend he intended to marry, but something had happened to his back, so I was in 'caring' mode - checking on him with mails to make sure he was ok. We had gotten so close that he didnt feel any restraint in giving me his POBox address and number (I think I sent a card once sef). We even exchanged pictures.
Looking back, I wonder, what did I do wrong? He just up and refused to respond. I got frantic. Was he alive? Searching his name on the net said yes he was, and from the dates of his latest postings I could see he was still active. Was it my religion? He's a staunch atheist but I never pressured him to convert - the highest I did was tell him I was praying for his recovery. Was it my friend? It might have been, because Jide could have been a yahoo boy without my knowledge.
I will never know.
Grandad even wrote me a story, and sent it to me. It was sweet. The scar is still there and throbbing.
R and Kent Dolan - scars that refuse to fade and go away.
Do you have scars like that too?

Do you have scars like that too?

Life is so funny. And so painful. I used to think of myself as an easy-to-heal soul, you know, the type that forgives easily, and forgets.
I still heal easily - on the surface that is. My skin heals quick and I have no scars, no matter how severe. But I am wrong in my assumption.
My heart has scars that wont dissappear. It is odd that the two scars that are prominent were brought on by similar circumstances, and by friends. The first was from a bossom friend who I loved deeply. I really felt for this babe. Don't get me wrong - I was not attracted to her, I just saw her as the sister I never had. I went out of my way to please her and help her. It wasn't that she was ill, or disabled or anything. In fact, she was and is a beauty - long legs, pretty smile, lovely figure. Around her, short, pudgy me was not self-conscious however. I felt at home with her. It didnt even matter that we were of different religions. All that mattered was her happiness. Our friendship stood the test of time and other people's jealousy, but it was destined to crack one day, and by something so flimsy, I still cannot believe that she actually believed I could say such a thing.
Well, it ended. I was bitter, sad, hurt and angry. Even when the truth came to light, I kept away. I had wrapped myself in a cocoon to heal.
Its been years, but even now, if I go visiting, her family still treat me like their own.
But everytime I read something about her on Facebook, or see something she gave me in my room (I refused to throw them away or hide them), I feel a pang in my heart. Why did it have to end that way? Maybe she didn't love me as much as I loved her? So many questions will remain unanswered.
The scar still pulses even now.
Then the second one was woken up tonight. I got through a shaky year three in the university with help from an angel. I found him on the internet - he's a math whiz, knows more than 14 programming languages and was alive during world war 2. He's a veteran, and has survived so many things. I admired him, and looked forward to hearing from him everytime. He's also a crazy man - one time he decided he was relocating to another state, but rather than fly he chose to go by road. That sounds alright until you read this - he reconstructed a bicycle and attached a trail of six black containers to the back with three wheels. He traveled for almost a month, slept on the road or in parks, and subsisted on little or no food. I had to plead with him to notify at least one member of his family (yes he has grand kids but is estranged from the family because he chose to live on the streets) before starting out, so in case something 'happens', they would know.
All was rosy until I made a mistake. A classmate of mine needed help for his project and his topic was something I was sure that my 'Grandad' (yeah that is what I called him then), could handle, so I introduced the 'mate, and told Grandad to please help.
That was the last I heard from Grandad.
By that time, he'd gotten an apartment, gotten a job, had a girlfriend he intended to marry, but something had happened to his back, so I was in 'caring' mode - checking on him with mails to make sure he was ok. We had gotten so close that he didnt feel any restraint in giving me his POBox address and number (I think I sent a card once sef). We even exchanged pictures.
Looking back, I wonder, what did I do wrong? He just up and refused to respond. I got frantic. Was he alive? Searching his name on the net said yes he was, and from the dates of his latest postings I could see he was still active. Was it my religion? He's a staunch atheist but I never pressured him to convert - the highest I did was tell him I was praying for his recovery. Was it my friend? It might have been, because Jide could have been a yahoo boy without my knowledge.
I will never know.
Grandad even wrote me a story, and sent it to me. It was sweet. The scar is still there and throbbing.
R and Kent Dolan - scars that refuse to fade and go away.
Do you have scars like that too?

Plans List?Carried out or not?

Have you ever planned the next year of your life and then after a few months, realized that nothing went according to plan? Well it happened to me. Back in October, I knew where I wanted to be in a year's time: I was going to be married, with my husband and I studying in a foreign country for masters degrees. We had applied and then things began to happen.
First my Dad felt I was rushing to get married (Never mind that he'd insisted when I was 17 that by the time I reach my age, I should have given him 2 grandkids for him to spoil). Then my acclaimed alma mater university refused to send my transcripts to the schools I had applied to. As if that was not enough, I had not taken my TEOFL exam which was required to apply.

Its now June. I lost the admissions because my transcripts never arrived even though my university claims they have sent it. My father has finally agreed to let me get married BUT at his own convenient time, and his own way (he has just declared he doesnt want us to print invitation cards - imagine that!). Of course Vicky did not pursue his own admission since I wasnt going.
I have a job I am comfortable at, but might soon leave because I will have to be the one to move over to Vicky's side. I really don't know what the future holds - I don't see myself as one of those strong Amazonian women that combine school with bringing up 2 kids and running a job all at the same time (just because my mum can doesnt mean I can, right?).

I had begun to despair that I might never do that Masters degree in the nearest future, until someone sent me a url for an online university. And the thought stuck! Why not get an online masters instead? Why not search for a cheap one, something that wont take too much of my time and money? And the search began!

www.uopeople.org is a free online university that is available to the whole world. However, there are only two courses - Computer Science (BSc and Associate) and Business Administration (BSc and Associate). They are currently not accredited, and do not receive credits transfer either. Check them out for more details.

I found two sites that compile all the information you need - ELearningSite and All Learn.
They have everything you need to search for!
Explore people! You might be busy all the time but time is passiing you by - every worker's nightmare is working for ten years and some young over-educated kid takes their place because their qualification had become extinct!

Brush yourself up - Start now!

Plans List?Carried out or not?

Have you ever planned the next year of your life and then after a few months, realized that nothing went according to plan? Well it happened to me. Back in October, I knew where I wanted to be in a year's time: I was going to be married, with my husband and I studying in a foreign country for masters degrees. We had applied and then things began to happen.
First my Dad felt I was rushing to get married (Never mind that he'd insisted when I was 17 that by the time I reach my age, I should have given him 2 grandkids for him to spoil). Then my acclaimed alma mater university refused to send my transcripts to the schools I had applied to. As if that was not enough, I had not taken my TEOFL exam which was required to apply.

Its now June. I lost the admissions because my transcripts never arrived even though my university claims they have sent it. My father has finally agreed to let me get married BUT at his own convenient time, and his own way (he has just declared he doesnt want us to print invitation cards - imagine that!). Of course Vicky did not pursue his own admission since I wasnt going.
I have a job I am comfortable at, but might soon leave because I will have to be the one to move over to Vicky's side. I really don't know what the future holds - I don't see myself as one of those strong Amazonian women that combine school with bringing up 2 kids and running a job all at the same time (just because my mum can doesnt mean I can, right?).

I had begun to despair that I might never do that Masters degree in the nearest future, until someone sent me a url for an online university. And the thought stuck! Why not get an online masters instead? Why not search for a cheap one, something that wont take too much of my time and money? And the search began!

www.uopeople.org is a free online university that is available to the whole world. However, there are only two courses - Computer Science (BSc and Associate) and Business Administration (BSc and Associate). They are currently not accredited, and do not receive credits transfer either. Check them out for more details.

I found two sites that compile all the information you need - ELearningSite and All Learn.
They have everything you need to search for!
Explore people! You might be busy all the time but time is passiing you by - every worker's nightmare is working for ten years and some young over-educated kid takes their place because their qualification had become extinct!

Brush yourself up - Start now!

Wake up call

After a stressful day at a client's site, I got home feeling dog-gone tired. I went to check on my Mum and got a heart-stopper. After I left for work in the morning, my brother found her struggling to breath. He called Dad who got a heart specialist hospital name and address in Nigeria and sent it to my brother. He rushed her there and after several checks, the verdict was: she's overworked, overstressed, and in need of rest. Her flunctuating high blood pressure, low resistance to illnesses and skipping heartbeat will get worse if we don't act fast. She needs to reduce her workload drastically. She needs to rest more. She needs to stop worrying about things. She needs to change her diet totally.
It was a wake up call for me. All the time that she was being prodded with needles and xrayed I was thinking only of work. Even as I entered the house that was what was on my mind. To be honest, if she hadn't chided me that I didn't ask how her day was, I probably wouldn't have asked since the question always got me more than a quarter of an hour wasted to gist. I'm glad I did. My brother and I put her on house arrest till further notice. My Dad is beside himself and calls within the hour-he's said he'll pay the driver's balance if the one she wants to employ is asking for more than she can afford. I have decreed that she draft her resignation letter from one of the three jobs she works at. Life is precious. She's laboured for so much of her life, its not now that she should be reaping the harvest that she should go. No way. If she proves stubborn we'll seize her phones, then limit access to her from every angle. I love her so much but I must tell you - its going to be a very conscious decision and action to start showing it. I have to stop focusing 180% of my attention on work and start focusing on family and social life. Its getting gradually pathetic- I had to start scrolling through my phone book before I could dig up possible candidates for my wedding train. It seems I've drifted so far away from the real world that I've left my friends behind. And I was so tied up I didn't see the signs that my mother's health was deteriorating. God help me to LIVE!