Do you have scars like that too?

Life is so funny. And so painful. I used to think of myself as an easy-to-heal soul, you know, the type that forgives easily, and forgets.
I still heal easily - on the surface that is. My skin heals quick and I have no scars, no matter how severe. But I am wrong in my assumption.
My heart has scars that wont dissappear. It is odd that the two scars that are prominent were brought on by similar circumstances, and by friends. The first was from a bossom friend who I loved deeply. I really felt for this babe. Don't get me wrong - I was not attracted to her, I just saw her as the sister I never had. I went out of my way to please her and help her. It wasn't that she was ill, or disabled or anything. In fact, she was and is a beauty - long legs, pretty smile, lovely figure. Around her, short, pudgy me was not self-conscious however. I felt at home with her. It didnt even matter that we were of different religions. All that mattered was her happiness. Our friendship stood the test of time and other people's jealousy, but it was destined to crack one day, and by something so flimsy, I still cannot believe that she actually believed I could say such a thing.
Well, it ended. I was bitter, sad, hurt and angry. Even when the truth came to light, I kept away. I had wrapped myself in a cocoon to heal.
Its been years, but even now, if I go visiting, her family still treat me like their own.
But everytime I read something about her on Facebook, or see something she gave me in my room (I refused to throw them away or hide them), I feel a pang in my heart. Why did it have to end that way? Maybe she didn't love me as much as I loved her? So many questions will remain unanswered.
The scar still pulses even now.
Then the second one was woken up tonight. I got through a shaky year three in the university with help from an angel. I found him on the internet - he's a math whiz, knows more than 14 programming languages and was alive during world war 2. He's a veteran, and has survived so many things. I admired him, and looked forward to hearing from him everytime. He's also a crazy man - one time he decided he was relocating to another state, but rather than fly he chose to go by road. That sounds alright until you read this - he reconstructed a bicycle and attached a trail of six black containers to the back with three wheels. He traveled for almost a month, slept on the road or in parks, and subsisted on little or no food. I had to plead with him to notify at least one member of his family (yes he has grand kids but is estranged from the family because he chose to live on the streets) before starting out, so in case something 'happens', they would know.
All was rosy until I made a mistake. A classmate of mine needed help for his project and his topic was something I was sure that my 'Grandad' (yeah that is what I called him then), could handle, so I introduced the 'mate, and told Grandad to please help.
That was the last I heard from Grandad.
By that time, he'd gotten an apartment, gotten a job, had a girlfriend he intended to marry, but something had happened to his back, so I was in 'caring' mode - checking on him with mails to make sure he was ok. We had gotten so close that he didnt feel any restraint in giving me his POBox address and number (I think I sent a card once sef). We even exchanged pictures.
Looking back, I wonder, what did I do wrong? He just up and refused to respond. I got frantic. Was he alive? Searching his name on the net said yes he was, and from the dates of his latest postings I could see he was still active. Was it my religion? He's a staunch atheist but I never pressured him to convert - the highest I did was tell him I was praying for his recovery. Was it my friend? It might have been, because Jide could have been a yahoo boy without my knowledge.
I will never know.
Grandad even wrote me a story, and sent it to me. It was sweet. The scar is still there and throbbing.
R and Kent Dolan - scars that refuse to fade and go away.
Do you have scars like that too?

Do you have scars like that too?

Life is so funny. And so painful. I used to think of myself as an easy-to-heal soul, you know, the type that forgives easily, and forgets.
I still heal easily - on the surface that is. My skin heals quick and I have no scars, no matter how severe. But I am wrong in my assumption.
My heart has scars that wont dissappear. It is odd that the two scars that are prominent were brought on by similar circumstances, and by friends. The first was from a bossom friend who I loved deeply. I really felt for this babe. Don't get me wrong - I was not attracted to her, I just saw her as the sister I never had. I went out of my way to please her and help her. It wasn't that she was ill, or disabled or anything. In fact, she was and is a beauty - long legs, pretty smile, lovely figure. Around her, short, pudgy me was not self-conscious however. I felt at home with her. It didnt even matter that we were of different religions. All that mattered was her happiness. Our friendship stood the test of time and other people's jealousy, but it was destined to crack one day, and by something so flimsy, I still cannot believe that she actually believed I could say such a thing.
Well, it ended. I was bitter, sad, hurt and angry. Even when the truth came to light, I kept away. I had wrapped myself in a cocoon to heal.
Its been years, but even now, if I go visiting, her family still treat me like their own.
But everytime I read something about her on Facebook, or see something she gave me in my room (I refused to throw them away or hide them), I feel a pang in my heart. Why did it have to end that way? Maybe she didn't love me as much as I loved her? So many questions will remain unanswered.
The scar still pulses even now.
Then the second one was woken up tonight. I got through a shaky year three in the university with help from an angel. I found him on the internet - he's a math whiz, knows more than 14 programming languages and was alive during world war 2. He's a veteran, and has survived so many things. I admired him, and looked forward to hearing from him everytime. He's also a crazy man - one time he decided he was relocating to another state, but rather than fly he chose to go by road. That sounds alright until you read this - he reconstructed a bicycle and attached a trail of six black containers to the back with three wheels. He traveled for almost a month, slept on the road or in parks, and subsisted on little or no food. I had to plead with him to notify at least one member of his family (yes he has grand kids but is estranged from the family because he chose to live on the streets) before starting out, so in case something 'happens', they would know.
All was rosy until I made a mistake. A classmate of mine needed help for his project and his topic was something I was sure that my 'Grandad' (yeah that is what I called him then), could handle, so I introduced the 'mate, and told Grandad to please help.
That was the last I heard from Grandad.
By that time, he'd gotten an apartment, gotten a job, had a girlfriend he intended to marry, but something had happened to his back, so I was in 'caring' mode - checking on him with mails to make sure he was ok. We had gotten so close that he didnt feel any restraint in giving me his POBox address and number (I think I sent a card once sef). We even exchanged pictures.
Looking back, I wonder, what did I do wrong? He just up and refused to respond. I got frantic. Was he alive? Searching his name on the net said yes he was, and from the dates of his latest postings I could see he was still active. Was it my religion? He's a staunch atheist but I never pressured him to convert - the highest I did was tell him I was praying for his recovery. Was it my friend? It might have been, because Jide could have been a yahoo boy without my knowledge.
I will never know.
Grandad even wrote me a story, and sent it to me. It was sweet. The scar is still there and throbbing.
R and Kent Dolan - scars that refuse to fade and go away.
Do you have scars like that too?

Plans List?Carried out or not?

Have you ever planned the next year of your life and then after a few months, realized that nothing went according to plan? Well it happened to me. Back in October, I knew where I wanted to be in a year's time: I was going to be married, with my husband and I studying in a foreign country for masters degrees. We had applied and then things began to happen.
First my Dad felt I was rushing to get married (Never mind that he'd insisted when I was 17 that by the time I reach my age, I should have given him 2 grandkids for him to spoil). Then my acclaimed alma mater university refused to send my transcripts to the schools I had applied to. As if that was not enough, I had not taken my TEOFL exam which was required to apply.

Its now June. I lost the admissions because my transcripts never arrived even though my university claims they have sent it. My father has finally agreed to let me get married BUT at his own convenient time, and his own way (he has just declared he doesnt want us to print invitation cards - imagine that!). Of course Vicky did not pursue his own admission since I wasnt going.
I have a job I am comfortable at, but might soon leave because I will have to be the one to move over to Vicky's side. I really don't know what the future holds - I don't see myself as one of those strong Amazonian women that combine school with bringing up 2 kids and running a job all at the same time (just because my mum can doesnt mean I can, right?).

I had begun to despair that I might never do that Masters degree in the nearest future, until someone sent me a url for an online university. And the thought stuck! Why not get an online masters instead? Why not search for a cheap one, something that wont take too much of my time and money? And the search began!

www.uopeople.org is a free online university that is available to the whole world. However, there are only two courses - Computer Science (BSc and Associate) and Business Administration (BSc and Associate). They are currently not accredited, and do not receive credits transfer either. Check them out for more details.

I found two sites that compile all the information you need - ELearningSite and All Learn.
They have everything you need to search for!
Explore people! You might be busy all the time but time is passiing you by - every worker's nightmare is working for ten years and some young over-educated kid takes their place because their qualification had become extinct!

Brush yourself up - Start now!

Plans List?Carried out or not?

Have you ever planned the next year of your life and then after a few months, realized that nothing went according to plan? Well it happened to me. Back in October, I knew where I wanted to be in a year's time: I was going to be married, with my husband and I studying in a foreign country for masters degrees. We had applied and then things began to happen.
First my Dad felt I was rushing to get married (Never mind that he'd insisted when I was 17 that by the time I reach my age, I should have given him 2 grandkids for him to spoil). Then my acclaimed alma mater university refused to send my transcripts to the schools I had applied to. As if that was not enough, I had not taken my TEOFL exam which was required to apply.

Its now June. I lost the admissions because my transcripts never arrived even though my university claims they have sent it. My father has finally agreed to let me get married BUT at his own convenient time, and his own way (he has just declared he doesnt want us to print invitation cards - imagine that!). Of course Vicky did not pursue his own admission since I wasnt going.
I have a job I am comfortable at, but might soon leave because I will have to be the one to move over to Vicky's side. I really don't know what the future holds - I don't see myself as one of those strong Amazonian women that combine school with bringing up 2 kids and running a job all at the same time (just because my mum can doesnt mean I can, right?).

I had begun to despair that I might never do that Masters degree in the nearest future, until someone sent me a url for an online university. And the thought stuck! Why not get an online masters instead? Why not search for a cheap one, something that wont take too much of my time and money? And the search began!

www.uopeople.org is a free online university that is available to the whole world. However, there are only two courses - Computer Science (BSc and Associate) and Business Administration (BSc and Associate). They are currently not accredited, and do not receive credits transfer either. Check them out for more details.

I found two sites that compile all the information you need - ELearningSite and All Learn.
They have everything you need to search for!
Explore people! You might be busy all the time but time is passiing you by - every worker's nightmare is working for ten years and some young over-educated kid takes their place because their qualification had become extinct!

Brush yourself up - Start now!